*COUNSELOR”S TOOLBOX – A developed excerpt from my 2011 paper “Mindfulness in the Light of Biblical Counseling“, in David Powlison’s Theology and Secular Psychology master course at Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia PA

Sitting with Our Emotions Under Christ’s Rule

When emotions become uncomfortable, our natural tendency may be to escape them, suppress them, explain them away, or immediately try to change them. But biblical counseling invites us to do something different:

We can sit with what we are experiencing, bring it honestly before Christ, and allow Scripture to help us understand what is happening in our hearts.

This is not passive introspection. It is scriptural thinking—learning to think about our circumstances, emotions, desires, and responses under the authority of God’s Word.

Peter reminds us that “grace and peace” have been multiplied to us through the knowledge of God and Jesus Christ, and that God’s divine power has granted us “everything pertaining to life and godliness” through knowing Him (2 Peter 1:2–3).

Our starting point, therefore, is not our ability to control ourselves. Our starting point is Christ.

Because of Christ’s redemptive work, we remember who we are, what we have received, and where our hope rests. We grow by adding virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love to our faith (2 Peter 1:5–7).

Scriptural Thinking Instead of Mindlessness

Scriptural thinking does not mean having no thoughts or emotions. Nor does it mean achieving an empty mind.

Rather, Romans 12:2 calls us to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

The Christian learns to recognize what is happening internally and then bring those thoughts under the truth of Scripture.

The Living Word, our Jesus, repeatedly gives us direction as we hear Him in the reading of the bible:

• Be still and know that God is God. — Psalm 46:10
• Cast your anxieties upon Him because He cares for you. — 1 Peter 5:7
• Remember that God has given a spirit not of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. — 2 Timothy 1:7
• Guard the good deposit entrusted to you. — 2 Timothy 1:12–14
• Receive grace as God’s gift rather than something earned by works. — Romans 11:6
• Pursue single-mindedness rather than being double-minded. — James 1:8
• Take Hold of the Lord’s patience. — 2 Peter 3:15
• Know God, make peace with Him, and receive His goodness. — Job 22:21
• Stand firm in God’s grace. — 1 Peter 5:10
• Receive the peace of God that surpasses understanding. — Philippians 4:7

Know that these verses are not isolated formulas or prescriptions to make uncomfortable emotions disappear. They belong within the larger story of Scripture and should be applied with wisdom to the person’s particular circumstances, heart, relationships, suffering, desires, and responsibilities.

Learning to Sit With What Is Happening

When we cannot sit with an emotion, we often rush toward a solution.

Scriptural thinking teaches us to pause before we act.

Ask Jesus:

What is happening inside of me right now?

An emotion is something to notice and understand; it is not automatically something to obey.

Fear may tell me that I am unsafe.
Anger may tell me that something matters.
Sadness may reveal loss.
Anxiety may expose uncertainty or a desire for control.
Shame may reveal how I am interpreting myself before God and others.

The question is not simply, “How do I get rid of this feeling?”

The deeper question is:

“What is this emotion revealing about what I believe, desire, fear, value, or trust—and what does Scripture say about it?”

This is where Proverbs 20:5 becomes particularly helpful. The heart is like deep water, and wise counseling helps draw out what is underneath.

The Three-Point Scriptural Thinking Check

When you are upset, worried, overwhelmed, or struggling to trust Jesus, slow down and move through these three questions with the Lord and sometimes with another Christian or two:

1. WHAT AM I THINKING?

Identify the thoughts running through your mind.

Ask:

• What am I telling myself?
• Is this thought actually true?
• Am I catastrophizing?
• Am I assuming the worst?
• Am I interpreting someone’s motives?
• Am I thinking in extremes?
• Am I believing that everything is lost?
• What does Scripture say that challenges or corrects this thought?

2 Corinthians 10:5 calls us to take thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

The goal is not positive thinking.

The goal is Christ-centered, Scripture-shaped thinking.

2. WHAT AM I FEELING?

Name the emotion without immediately trying to eliminate it.

Ask:

• What am I feeling?
• Where do I notice this emotion?
• What happened that brought this emotion forward?
• What does this emotion seem to be communicating?
• What am I afraid of losing?
• What am I longing for?
• What am I believing about God, myself, or others?
• Can I bring this emotion honestly before Christ?

There is freedom in being able to say:

“Jesus, this is what I am feeling. Help me understand what is happening in my heart.”

Acceptance does not mean agreement with every thought or emotion. Validation does not mean that every interpretation is true.

It means we are willing to acknowledge what is actually happening so that we can bring it into the light of Christ.

3. WHAT AM I DOING?

Our thoughts and emotions eventually influence our responses.

Ask:

• What am I tempted to do?
• Am I avoiding something?
• Am I reacting instead of responding?
• Am I trying to control an outcome that belongs to God?
• Am I seeking immediate relief rather than faithful obedience?
• What response would reflect my values and my identity in Christ?
• What is the next faithful step?

Scriptural thinking moves us from awareness to wisdom and from wisdom to obedient action.

The Garden of Growth

Jesus gives us a beautiful picture of spiritual growth in Mark 4:26–29. A man scatters seed, sleeps and rises, and the seed gradually grows—first the blade, then the ear, then the mature grain.

Sometimes sanctification feels slow.

We may wonder why we are still struggling with the same fears, thoughts, desires, or emotional patterns.

But God’s work often happens beneath the surface before we see the fruit.

Growth is still growth when we cannot yet see the harvest.

Ephesians 3:17–19 points us toward increasing fullness as Christ dwells in our hearts through faith and we become increasingly grounded in His love.

This is sanctification: Christ progressively shaping the whole person—mind, heart, desires, relationships, and actions.

Paul describes this transformation as moving “from glory to glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Two Expressions of a Christ-ruled Life

1. PEACE

Isaiah 26:3 describes the person whose mind is steadfast because it is stayed on God.

Biblical peace is more than temporary relaxation.

It is an increasing integration of our thoughts, emotions, desires, and actions under the lordship of Christ that builds and sus

We do not have to live with competing internal voices continually ruling us. We can learn to bring our thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) and grow in the Spirit’s fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:22–23).

Philippians 4:7 reminds us that God’s peace can guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace does not mean the absence of suffering. It means Christ remains Lord in the midst of it.

2. JOY

Jesus tells His disciples that abiding in Him leads to fullness of joy:

“These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” — John 15:11

Joy is not manufactured through circumstances.

It grows as we abide in Christ, receive His grace, walk in obedience, and experience fellowship with the Triune God.

The Christian life therefore is not merely about becoming less anxious.

It is about becoming more like Christ.

When Your Mind Goes Off Track

Everyone experiences distracting, fearful, erroneous, or distorted thoughts.

The answer is not condemnation.

The answer is returning.

Notice the thought.
Name the emotion.
Examine the desire.
Bring it to Christ.
Open Scripture.
Test the thought against truth.
Choose the next faithful response.

And when you fail, confess it.

Receive God’s forgiveness.

Do not remain imprisoned by yesterday’s sin or yesterday’s thought.

Philippians 3:13–14 gives us the picture of pressing forward rather than living backward.

Sanctification includes the renewal of our thinking.

Scriptural Thinking in Ordinary Life

Scriptural thinking can happen in the ordinary rhythms of life:

• Walking
• Exercising
• Washing the dishes
• Taking a shower
• Praying
• Spending time in nature
• Playing with your children
• Talking with someone you love
• Sitting quietly before God
• Experiencing disappointment
• Waiting for an answer
• Entering a difficult conversation

The activity itself does not transform us.

The question is what we are doing with our thoughts, emotions, desires, and attention before God while we are doing it.

When your mind wanders, notice it.

When an emotion rises, name it.

When a thought contradicts Scripture, examine it.

When anxiety comes, cast it upon Christ.

When you recognize sin, confess it.

When you experience suffering, remember God’s presence.

When you experience blessing, give thanks.

When you do not understand the process, trust the One who does.

The Future Hope That Enters the Present

Christian hope is not merely wishful thinking about the future.

Hebrews 6:19 describes our hope in Christ as “an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast.”

Our future hope changes how we live in the present.

We can suffer without believing that suffering is the whole story.

We can wait without believing that God is absent.

We can experience uncertainty without making uncertainty our master.

We can grieve without losing hope.

We can acknowledge our emotions without allowing them to become our authority.

Christ is our peace, our hope, our wisdom, and our destination.

A Simple Practice

When you cannot sit with what you are feeling, remember:

STOP. NOTICE. EXAMINE. SUBMIT. RESPOND.

STOP — Slow down before reacting.

NOTICE — What am I thinking and feeling?

EXAMINE — What is happening in my heart? What do I desire, fear, believe, or value?

SUBMIT — What does Scripture say? How does this thought or desire come under Christ’s rule?

RESPOND — What is the next faithful action?

This is not a technique for escaping uncomfortable emotions.

It is an invitation to remain with Christ in the middle of them.

Through the renewing work of the Holy Spirit, we increasingly learn to think God’s thoughts after Him, discern what is true, bring our hearts under Christ’s lordship, and walk in the freedom of increasing conformity to His image.

The goal is not simply a calmer mind.

The goal is a Christ-ruled mind, a faithful heart, and a life increasingly transformed into the likeness of Jesus.

THREE-DAY REMINDER – Email me at cindasaid@icloud.com if you’d like a 3 Day Devotional on:

When your heart is troubled:

Day 1 — BE STILL
Jesus, You are here.

Day 2 — DRAW IT OUT
Jesus, help me understand what is happening in my heart.

Day 3 — ABIDE
Jesus, help me remain with You and take the next faithful step.

Not to empty the mind, but to renew the mind “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2 niv

Not to escape emotions, but to bring them honestly before Jesus.

Not to obey every feeling, but to understand what the heart is revealing.

Not to control every circumstance, but to trust the One who does.

And not to become perfect overnight, but to continue being transformed “from glory to glory” into the likeness of Christ.

Sit with Jesus.
Examine your heart.
Think scripturally.
Abide in Christ.
Take the next faithful step.